Gratitude is The Answer

Hello dear friends,


Lately, I have been working on preparing a new business.  Since I am a neophyte entrepreneur, this is not a skill set I have experience with, nor am I particularly confident in my as-yet-unproven abilities.  This makes for some days or parts of days where my positive outlook is challenged.  In the past few weeks I have been creating a web site.  Let's just say that now I understand why people hire experts to do that work.  Since I am from a long line of "do-it-yourself-ers" it seemed only natural and proper that I would undertake this endeavor with enthusiasm and pluck.  Three days in, I found myself with gritted teeth, and not much enthusiasm.  The pluck, however, remains.  During this most interesting time of development, negativity was a frequent visitor.  During those times, I would like to say I did not entertain that visitor, but politely showed him the door.  Well, I am human.  On occasion, I invited negativity in for a cup of tea, a little pity party, just for me.  But I am happy to reflect that, without exception, sooner or later - more often sooner, thankfully- I remembered to use the tools I have learned in order to move myself back into harmony and into a positive frame of mind, and feelings of contentment, if not happiness or joy.  Gratitude does it every time.


Gratitude is a mysterious and funny thing.  Being able to express gratitude in the moment that one is enraptured in problem, misery, regret, or self-pity is, admittedly, difficult. I would say it is an advanced spiritual skill, made easier by practicing it during less stressful times.  I am in the habit of composing a gratitude list each evening before retiring, if not formally in my journal, at least mentally, while winding down and preparing for sleep.


People in 12 step recovery are familiar with "gratitude lists".  It is a primary tool for moving from negative emotional/mental space into the moment by consciously letting go of "the problem(s)" and inviting the remembrance of positive experience and good feeling.  Doing this frequently over the past five years has resulted in the ability to "catch myself" mid-pity party, and to refocus my energy on something that makes me feel good.  Today, before my run, I made what I thought was a witty comment to my wife about her morning walk.  To her credit, she laced up her shoes, hit the pavement and power-walked for 30 minutes.  I jokingly made light of her efforts by calling it a "short walk".  Her response indicated that she felt insulted and angry at my perceived put-down.  As I was running, I entered the space into which I had invited myself by that comment.  In a few seconds, I was not only physically running, but mentally, I was running into negative territory, recalling all the slights and injuries I have inflicted on my my wife and others.  "Just a minute", I interrupted myself.  "I am glad to be where I am today, able to see my flaws and to be able to change what doesn't work for me."  "I'm sorry, please forgive me" (to myself for stepping into the negative) "Thank you, I love you" (to my higher power, myself ). I mentally moved into gratitude space, repeating that simple mantra for a half mile or so.  When I got home, I promptly apologized to my wife for my negative comment and complimented her commitment to self-care.  This completely cleared the air between us and helped us both move into a positive space of love and connectedness.


Gratitude lists are only one way of expressing and moving into the loving space of thankfulness.  The Ho'oponopono prayer, or mantra, "I'm sorry, please forgive me.  Thank you, I love you." is a quick way to take personal responsibility for moving out of Love and for remembering that, even though I can temporarily become unaware of living in Love, it is my true home.  I can return anytime I choose.  It feels so good to be in that loving space, that I feel it is worth the effort to return, each time I forget that I am already there.


Thinking about someone, some place, or something that brings a good feeling is another way to move into the space of gratitude.  Positive affirmations are another.  Engaging in some activity that brings you joy or peace or excitement, pulls you into present moment focus, is another way that comes to mind.  There are lots more, I'm sure.  The point is, life is too short to be living in past regret, guilty, shame, remorse, resentment or sadness; or in worry or fear of the future.  It is too short to be caught up in negativity.  That doesn't mean we ignore real feelings that we're having about something we've done, or someone else has done.  These feelings are our "guidance system" as my mentor Linda Meyerholz calls them.  They exist to indicate when a boundary has been crossed, or we're headed in the wrong direction.  Sometimes they're just feelings that arise from our mental process, developed out of habit.  We acknowledge them, take action if that is necessary, let them pass, and move back into the present moment.  Gratitude helps me do this, and for this, I am truly grateful.


Thank you, I love you.


Dave